Well, who the fuck do you think I am?
It was a feeling. You told me my feelings weren’t real. You told me I had no evidence.
Too long, you have used my doubt against me. You have plundered my reality and cast it to chaos.
But I can’t lie to myself. I can’t deny what I felt.
How could I not go through your messages with all your secrecy and stories?
The way you disappear every weekend to lay your bed elsewhere.
Why are you hiding from me?
I tried to see the best in our situation, I truly did. Although, worming away in my head, I knew that any girl with legitimate self-respect would have been gone by now.
It was so plain but my credulous faith in romance was so alive in my eyes. I believed in an evolutionary love before you.
Why would I want to change you? Should I be changing for you?
Taking the blame with this paranoia that you stimulate.
Call me psycho and tell the world I’m insane but I see the way you leave yourself options. I see the truth now, lit up on your laptop.
And still, I stay.
Why the fuck would you even bother with me?
Gurll, I shit you not, at least twelve different women, all the same conversation. It’s a fucking game to him.
What are you keeping me around for? Maybe you do care for me. Maybe you don’t want to lose me.
But what exactly would you be losing? Do you think this is what love is?
Why else would you keep it all from me? You know my fury would storm gods and shake the universe.
Am I losing?
You also know my love is stronger than my wisdom. At least for now.
I’m slowly concluding your love is a hunt.
Why does this feel like a competition?
And I have become an addict.
Why do you like it so much?
We both know this needs to end.
When I rose out from the darkness, I saw that I was still in a maze.
That night, I felt my head in the clouds and my body levitate as we fucked until the sky began to glow. You said to me; “now you’ve had the best, never settle for less.”
And later that day, as I served customers, I suddenly pieced together in the back of my mind, that you thought you were giving me an experience no one else could.