I was knackered as soon as I stepped foot in there. Hiding behind a glass of wine and a plume of smoke, I sunk back, as empty laughter erupted around me in hellish cackles. Teeth bared, rabid apes. It’s probably a familiar scene to you.
I was honestly there to have a good time. It was an attempt to be more sociable, to practice some kindness and gratitude out of the pure love of people. Although I’d much rather be writing as she opened her mouth, I relaxed to listen. I figured someone here would say something interesting or perhaps I would learn something unexpected. Just maybe, I thought, her beautiful mind would open from it’s pensive and patient germination to reconcile that god-awful outfit she struts like haute couture.
But it’s the same regurgitated garbage I hear every day. I nod, swallowing my words. It’s clear she’s unapologetic about her misinformation because the popular opinion of the times told her so.
In this moment, I’m thankful I painted my eyes dark and smoky to shadow their entertained smirk, like a cloak. Looking around for some sort of escape from the conversation, I can’t help but want to vomit all over everybody’s LBDs. She’s rattling on about the mistreatment of women since forever, her perception of her body image and how we must overthrow the patriarchy.
I can’t believe how much I let these women speak for me.
From the back of my brain, a voice murmurs shit like historically I disagree and I think you might be infantilizing yourself.
Sorry gurrl, I have no sympathy for misguided anger in myself, let alone in this urgent dispense of self-pity at this sad occasion. For the amount of photos you have of yourself on Instagram, you’re very ugly to me.